The conflict was between Alejandro and the two bullies.
Shots, dialogue, and actions: 1 The panning in the very beginning show the scenary setting everything up. 2 The bullies walking in and thier first linesshow instatnlty that they a problem with the main character. 3 The shot of Alejandro looking up and SHOWING his reaction adds to it also--showing the story line of him being bullied. 4 The shot where Amanda walks by and one of the bullies says something mean to her.
1 You could add music to add to the suspense. 2 You could also amp up the almost punch with dramatic music. The climax occurred when Bob comes into the story.
In the resolution the bullies are walked away by Bob and Alejandro and Amanda go get some ice cream. The resolution is pretty clear BUT you could show Amanda walking up to Alejandro from behind to come talk to him to add to it and also fix the odd transititon.
The beginnning shot because it sets everything up. Alejandoro is alone and by himself studying. It helped emphasize the idea that he is alone and an easy target.
The only shot that we suggest adding is to fix the transition for the resolution where Amanda just appears. The shot being a wide shot showing Alejandro and then showing Amanda wallking up behind him.
8.5 for editing. The one thing we would change was the transition that Amanda just randonmly appears.
When one of the bullies push Alejandro they used a fade. We would have done the same because it comes out smooth.
There was no music except for the end. We would add something intense for the punch and Nothing else for the rest of the video.
There was no music until the end...
The name is fine, BUT the background of the title does not suite the storyline and adds nothing to the veideo. Maybe having it fade in on a black background with a vibrant color such as red would be better.
The end credits need to disapear fulling before the BLOOPERS comes out. Everything was there and cited.
Overall we thought your film was good. What we liked best was the acting, the actors commited a 100%. Our strongest suggestion is to add music to the punch, it would add so much more.
Feedback by Jaay McAbee The conflict was between Alejandro and the two bullies, Grr and Jessica. The shots, dialog, and actions that contributed to the rising action were: 1. The establishing shot of the camera panning to show the scenery and establish a sort of calm mood at first. 2. When the bullies walked up to Alejandro and their first few lines showed there was a conflict between them and him. 3. The shot when Alejandro looks up and you can see the expression on his face. 4. When Amanda walks by and one of the bullies says something rude and threatening to her, and she just continues to walk by.
Some suggestions to add to the rising action: 1. You could maybe add some music to show the tension between Alejandro and the bullies. 2. You could also add some music to create a scared mood during the punch scenes. The climax occurred when Bob comes in and stops the bullies.
In the resolution, Bob stops the bullies from hurting Alejandro, and Amanda comes in and asks if Alejandro would like to go to ice cream. The resolution is clear, but I would recommend adding a clip of Amanda walking up to Alejandro, instead of just having her appear in the shot.
I especially liked the establishing shot, because it sets up the entire short film. It shows that Alejandro is alone, and working on something for school, and then the bullies walk in and harass him. The only shot I would suggest adding to the film is some sort of clip of Amanda walking up to Alejandro after the bullies are chased away. The new shot should be a wide angle shot, showing Alejandro sitting at the table and Amanda walking up to him.
I rate the editing at an 8 out of 10. The only thing I would recommend changing is when Amanda just appears, almost out of nowhere. I noticed that the scene when one of the bullies pushes Alejandro, you used a fade. I would have done the same thing because it makes the scene come out smooth.
There was no music in the film until the end, right before the credits appeared. I would recommend adding an intense music to the punch scene.
The name of the film was okay, but I would recommend changing the background of the title scene to be a little bit more fitting to the film. Personally, I would recommend an overlay title that appears a few seconds into the film while Alejandro is seated alone, and then fades away.
The credits were done well, and everything was properly cited.
Overall, I thought your film was pretty good. What I liked best was that the actors seemed well prepared to take on their roles, and they knew all of their lines. The only things I would recommend would be the changing of the title and adding music to a few scenes; namely, the punch scene.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe conflict was between Alejandro and the two bullies.
ReplyDeleteShots, dialogue, and actions:
1 The panning in the very beginning show the scenary setting everything up.
2 The bullies walking in and thier first linesshow instatnlty that they a problem with the main character.
3 The shot of Alejandro looking up and SHOWING his reaction adds to it also--showing the story line of him being bullied.
4 The shot where Amanda walks by and one of the bullies says something mean to her.
1 You could add music to add to the suspense.
2 You could also amp up the almost punch with dramatic music.
The climax occurred when Bob comes into the story.
In the resolution the bullies are walked away by Bob and Alejandro and Amanda go get some ice cream.
The resolution is pretty clear BUT you could show Amanda walking up to Alejandro from behind to come talk to him to add to it and also fix the odd transititon.
The beginnning shot because it sets everything up. Alejandoro is alone and by himself studying. It helped emphasize the idea that he is alone and an easy target.
The only shot that we suggest adding is to fix the transition for the resolution where Amanda just appears.
The shot being a wide shot showing Alejandro and then showing Amanda wallking up behind him.
8.5 for editing. The one thing we would change was the transition that Amanda just randonmly appears.
When one of the bullies push Alejandro they used a fade. We would have done the same because it comes out smooth.
There was no music except for the end.
We would add something intense for the punch and Nothing else for the rest of the video.
There was no music until the end...
The name is fine, BUT the background of the title does not suite the storyline and adds nothing to the veideo.
Maybe having it fade in on a black background with a vibrant color such as red would be better.
The end credits need to disapear fulling before the BLOOPERS comes out.
Everything was there and cited.
Overall we thought your film was good. What we liked best was the acting, the actors commited a 100%. Our strongest suggestion is to add music to the punch, it would add so much more.
Alexis and Cassie
Feedback by Jaay McAbee
ReplyDeleteThe conflict was between Alejandro and the two bullies, Grr and Jessica.
The shots, dialog, and actions that contributed to the rising action were:
1. The establishing shot of the camera panning to show the scenery and establish a sort of calm mood at first.
2. When the bullies walked up to Alejandro and their first few lines showed there was a conflict between them and him.
3. The shot when Alejandro looks up and you can see the expression on his face.
4. When Amanda walks by and one of the bullies says something rude and threatening to her, and she just continues to walk by.
Some suggestions to add to the rising action:
1. You could maybe add some music to show the tension between Alejandro and the bullies.
2. You could also add some music to create a scared mood during the punch scenes.
The climax occurred when Bob comes in and stops the bullies.
In the resolution, Bob stops the bullies from hurting Alejandro, and Amanda comes in and asks if Alejandro would like to go to ice cream.
The resolution is clear, but I would recommend adding a clip of Amanda walking up to Alejandro, instead of just having her appear in the shot.
I especially liked the establishing shot, because it sets up the entire short film. It shows that Alejandro is alone, and working on something for school, and then the bullies walk in and harass him.
The only shot I would suggest adding to the film is some sort of clip of Amanda walking up to Alejandro after the bullies are chased away. The new shot should be a wide angle shot, showing Alejandro sitting at the table and Amanda walking up to him.
I rate the editing at an 8 out of 10. The only thing I would recommend changing is when Amanda just appears, almost out of nowhere.
I noticed that the scene when one of the bullies pushes Alejandro, you used a fade. I would have done the same thing because it makes the scene come out smooth.
There was no music in the film until the end, right before the credits appeared.
I would recommend adding an intense music to the punch scene.
The name of the film was okay, but I would recommend changing the background of the title scene to be a little bit more fitting to the film. Personally, I would recommend an overlay title that appears a few seconds into the film while Alejandro is seated alone, and then fades away.
The credits were done well, and everything was properly cited.
Overall, I thought your film was pretty good. What I liked best was that the actors seemed well prepared to take on their roles, and they knew all of their lines. The only things I would recommend would be the changing of the title and adding music to a few scenes; namely, the punch scene.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete