The conflic was between a despereate man and a desperate woman but it was hard to completely identify it since there a lot of scenes missing. One of the shots that contributed to the rising action was when the guy said "I don't wanna do this." and also when he pulled out his gun. The woman also seemed to be very scared. You could use suspenseful orchestral music in the background to have a greater effect to viewers. There was no resolution since it was not finished. We specially liked the beggining shot when the guy first walks into the room; it was very suspenseful. We can't really give many suggestions since we have no idea what the point or the story of the film is. Add missing scenes, add music, and add credits. -Luis and Lizzy
The conflict was hard to identify. What helped contribute to the rising action was when Mario pulled out his gun and aimed it towards Hayley. The dialogue that helped was, “I don’t want to do this.” The close up on Mario when he’s walking in helped too. A suggestion would be to finish editing Hayley’s clips for your guys’ video. The climax occurred when Mario shot the gun. No resolution as of now for therefore we can’t add to the resolution because they don’t have one. We especially liked the opening shot where Mario walks in because it helped emphasize the idea that Mario was determined to achieve his goal. On a scale of 1-10, we rate the editing a 7. One edit was the shot when Hayley looks up from her desk and has a line of dialogue. We thought the jump back to the previous clip was confusing. We noticed that between Mario walking in and Hayley’s desk you used a straight cut. We could have used a straight cut also. There was no music. The title of the film basically told what the setting was. It didn’t really grab our attention. We think that the title should relate to the conflict rather than the setting. There were no credits. Overall, we thought your film was a work in progress. What we liked best was the opening shot of Mario. Zachary Andrade and Sam Tapia
The conflict was between putting the guys name on the list for a kidney transplant, or not. Some shots and dialogue that contributed to the rsing action is: when the door squeaks, when theres just a shot of Mario's face showing he is very angry, when he pulls out the gun, and when Hayley says "oh my gosh." We think once you put in Hayley's parts, the rising actions will be more effective, but right now just with Mario's shots it is really intense. We think if you add some dramatic music, the tone and mood will be even more intense. The climax occurred we guess when Mario pretends to shoot Hayley. But it is kind of unclear, because Hayley's parts are not added yet. So far there is no resolution because the video is not finished yet, but we are sure the resolution will be very good. We think if you have some either happy or sad music for the resolution(depending on how the resolution ends) it will really add to the tone. We especially like the shot of just Mario looking really angry because it helped emphasize the idea that Mario is really serious. We think when Mario pulls out the gun, you should do a close up on Mario's expression, to show he is really conflicted and he does not want to shoot Hayley. This will help emphasize the the idea that Mario has to choose between shooting Hayley or losing his wife. So far with the clips you have, we think you did an 8 on you're editing. One edit we would change is cut some of Hayley writing, it drags out a little and making it shorter will help keep the audience's attention. We think for transitions straight cuts would work since it's a conversation. We think you should definetly add music, to help make the mood really intense. We think your title is pretty good, but you could show more intesity, because the title right now seems pretty happy and just shows the setting, and the film is not happy, from what is shown through Mario's clips. We like the font of the title, and we think it was pretty effective. Once you do add credits we think you should use the same style. Overall, we thought your film was okay, once it is all put together we can judge it better. What we liked best was Mario's acting, because he looks and sounds pretty intense. Our strongest suggestion is to add Hayley's clips, and add some intense music. -Alicia Fernandez and Jorge Chavez
The conflict in the video was between violence and doing right. The back and forward shots between Mario and Hayley added to the suspense. When Mario walks into the room an eery effect is added by the squeeky door closing behind him. Some things you could do to contribute to the rising action is maybe having a shot before the video starts showing Mario putting the gun in his pocket.The climax occured when Mario takes out the gun raises his voice and says "I don't want to do it." A resolution was not evidentin the draft. We liked the close up shot of Hayley after Mario pulls out the gun because it gives off the emotion of fear. The audience doesnt know what she is going to do. We dont really want to rate the editing yet because the video is not complete but the editing so far is really good. The shots used seemed to go well and I wouldn't change anything.Music was not included in the draft of this video but it would definitely help set the tone of the video. Eventhough there was not any music,the silence really gave off the sketchy feeling. No titles were in the draft but something bold would add to the mood. Overall your film looks like it has a lot of potential and brings out a strong message. What we liked best was the way Hayley and Mario portrayed their charachters. Our strongest suggestion is to just make the titles stand out and to add some music.
Cristabel-jessica the conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete. here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe. 2.when he raises his voice 3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat. here some suggestions about adding to the rising action, 1. you could add suspensful music/sounds. 2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete. the resolution was also missing. you could add to the resolution by creating one . we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen. we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions. on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7. NO MUSIC. we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds. NO CREDITS. we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel. overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Cristabel-jessica the conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete. here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe. 2.when he raises his voice 3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat. here some suggestions about adding to the rising action, 1. you could add suspensful music/sounds. 2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete. the resolution was also missing. you could add to the resolution by creating one . we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen. we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions. on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7. NO MUSIC. we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds. NO CREDITS. we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel. overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Cristabel-jessica the conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete. here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe. 2.when he raises his voice 3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat. here some suggestions about adding to the rising action, 1. you could add suspensful music/sounds. 2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete. the resolution was also missing. you could add to the resolution by creating one . we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen. we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions. on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7. NO MUSIC. we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds. NO CREDITS. we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel. overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Feedback given by Cesar Torres, Cristian Murillo, Juanmanuel Abonce Story: The conflict between him and himself Here are the shots, dialog, and actions that contributed to the rising action: 1. High shot of the man coming in 2. Close up shot of the guy 3. Medium shot of him pulling out the gun 4. Over the shoulder looking at the woman
Here are some suggestions about adding to the rising action: 1. You could complete the video 2. You could also make the message clearer The climax occurred when he pulled out the gun Describe what happens during the resolution: He shoots the woman You could add to the resolution by making it clearer. This would help give us the idea that there is a message in the video. We especially like the over the shoulder shot of the man and the woman because it helps emphasize the idea that something suspenseful was going to happen. We think you replace the shot where there’s a close up of the woman’s name on the desk, the new shot would be switching that shot to the beginning when the man first walks in. This would help create the feeling of suspense. On a scale of one to ten we rate the editing a 4.5 mainly because the video is not finished. One edit we would change was after he says “I need help”. We thought the clip of him standing there and not saying anything was useless. There wasn’t any music. The title didn’t reflect the content of the video, and it didn’t grab our attention. Add an effect to the title like a type writer title. The title was plain and did not catch the audience’s attention. Add effects to the titles. There were no credits. Overall we thought your film was ok. What we liked best was the guy taking out the gun. Our strongest suggestion is that you finish the whole thing.
The conflict was between a desperate man trying to get his wife on a transplant list and a woman at the desk.
Shots that contributed to the rising action are when he points a gun and when the woman is scared asking him to not shoot.
there was no music but we would add a symphony of strings to emphasize that the situation is life or death.
Because the video was not finished, there was no resolution so we are curious to how you will end it.
Our suggestions are to go back to the story board and remind yourselves of what your value is, because we have no idea what it is.
You guys really need to complete the editing and fill in all of the blank shots because the video makes no sense without them. Also, add in music, titles and credits.
The conflict to the storyline was actuually hard to indentify but it was between the techer and a student 1. The door making a squeaky noise was good. 2. The scence where it shows somewhats of a zoom in on the teacher was awesome. 3. A dialog would be "I don't want to this" 4. Action student pulls out the gun. A suggestion would be to of course as you guys know just add in the other clips. climax would be when students shots the gun. The resolution I am not to sure would it could possible know but of course due to no adding of clips. the opening I really loved is when the p walks in just the whole feel from it is great! outta of a one through ten I would rate the editing a 7 because editing is good you guys just need to add the rest of the clips. You guys used a straight cut when the student walked to the teachers desk. No music which I don't think you guys need to but if want it wouldn't kill you guys haha I don't think the title is rather appealing . No credits added. overall good job just add in the rest of the clips and credit!
The conflict was between the desperate man and the secretary.
Shots, dialogue, actions: 1 The squeaky door--added to the realness of it all. 2 The deperate man pleading--again added to the realness, also good acting.
To add to the resolution and the limax would be to add the other clips and fine tune everything. the story was there but it was hard to understand a 100% what was really going on.
There wasn't any music.
6 There wasn't a bunch edited and even what was seemed choppy...I'm unsure if that was suppose to be or what.
AS of right now all the editing seems to be straight cuts from the desperate man to the woman.
The title wasn't appealing to me. it didn't add anything for me.
There wre no credtis.
Overall a decent job for what you have, I was able to tell the conflict even with pieces missing.
The conflic was between a despereate man and a desperate woman but it was hard to completely identify it since there a lot of scenes missing. One of the shots that contributed to the rising action was when the guy said "I don't wanna do this." and also when he pulled out his gun. The woman also seemed to be very scared. You could use suspenseful orchestral music in the background to have a greater effect to viewers. There was no resolution since it was not finished. We specially liked the beggining shot when the guy first walks into the room; it was very suspenseful. We can't really give many suggestions since we have no idea what the point or the story of the film is. Add missing scenes, add music, and add credits. -Luis and Lizzy
ReplyDeleteThe conflict was hard to identify. What helped contribute to the rising action was when Mario pulled out his gun and aimed it towards Hayley. The dialogue that helped was, “I don’t want to do this.” The close up on Mario when he’s walking in helped too. A suggestion would be to finish editing Hayley’s clips for your guys’ video. The climax occurred when Mario shot the gun. No resolution as of now for therefore we can’t add to the resolution because they don’t have one. We especially liked the opening shot where Mario walks in because it helped emphasize the idea that Mario was determined to achieve his goal. On a scale of 1-10, we rate the editing a 7. One edit was the shot when Hayley looks up from her desk and has a line of dialogue. We thought the jump back to the previous clip was confusing. We noticed that between Mario walking in and Hayley’s desk you used a straight cut. We could have used a straight cut also. There was no music. The title of the film basically told what the setting was. It didn’t really grab our attention. We think that the title should relate to the conflict rather than the setting. There were no credits. Overall, we thought your film was a work in progress. What we liked best was the opening shot of Mario.
ReplyDeleteZachary Andrade and Sam Tapia
The conflict was between putting the guys name on the list for a kidney transplant, or not. Some shots and dialogue that contributed to the rsing action is: when the door squeaks, when theres just a shot of Mario's face showing he is very angry, when he pulls out the gun, and when Hayley says "oh my gosh."
ReplyDeleteWe think once you put in Hayley's parts, the rising actions will be more effective, but right now just with Mario's shots it is really intense. We think if you add some dramatic music, the tone and mood will be even more intense.
The climax occurred we guess when Mario pretends to shoot Hayley. But it is kind of unclear, because Hayley's parts are not added yet.
So far there is no resolution because the video is not finished yet, but we are sure the resolution will be very good. We think if you have some either happy or sad music for the resolution(depending on how the resolution ends) it will really add to the tone.
We especially like the shot of just Mario looking really angry because it helped emphasize the idea that Mario is really serious. We think when Mario pulls out the gun, you should do a close up on Mario's expression, to show he is really conflicted and he does not want to shoot Hayley. This will help emphasize the the idea that Mario has to choose between shooting Hayley or losing his wife.
So far with the clips you have, we think you did an 8 on you're editing. One edit we would change is cut some of Hayley writing, it drags out a little and making it shorter will help keep the audience's attention. We think for transitions straight cuts would work since it's a conversation.
We think you should definetly add music, to help make the mood really intense.
We think your title is pretty good, but you could show more intesity, because the title right now seems pretty happy and just shows the setting, and the film is not happy, from what is shown through Mario's clips. We like the font of the title, and we think it was pretty effective. Once you do add credits we think you should use the same style.
Overall, we thought your film was okay, once it is all put together we can judge it better. What we liked best was Mario's acting, because he looks and sounds pretty intense. Our strongest suggestion is to add Hayley's clips, and add some intense music.
-Alicia Fernandez and Jorge Chavez
The conflict in the video was between violence and doing right. The back and forward shots between Mario and Hayley added to the suspense. When Mario walks into the room an eery effect is added by the squeeky door closing behind him. Some things you could do to contribute to the rising action is maybe having a shot before the video starts showing Mario putting the gun in his pocket.The climax occured when Mario takes out the gun raises his voice and says "I don't want to do it." A resolution was not evidentin the draft. We liked the close up shot of Hayley after Mario pulls out the gun because it gives off the emotion of fear. The audience doesnt know what she is going to do. We dont really want to rate the editing yet because the video is not complete but the editing so far is really good. The shots used seemed to go well and I wouldn't change anything.Music was not included in the draft of this video but it would definitely help set the tone of the video. Eventhough there was not any music,the silence really gave off the sketchy feeling. No titles were in the draft but something bold would add to the mood. Overall your film looks like it has a lot of potential and brings out a strong message. What we liked best was the way Hayley and Mario portrayed their charachters. Our strongest suggestion is to just make the titles stand out and to add some music.
ReplyDeleteCristabel-jessica
ReplyDeletethe conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete.
here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe.
2.when he raises his voice
3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat.
here some suggestions about adding to the rising action,
1. you could add suspensful music/sounds.
2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete.
the resolution was also missing.
you could add to the resolution by creating one .
we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen.
we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions.
on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7.
NO MUSIC.
we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds.
NO CREDITS.
we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel.
overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Cristabel-jessica
ReplyDeletethe conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete.
here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe.
2.when he raises his voice
3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat.
here some suggestions about adding to the rising action,
1. you could add suspensful music/sounds.
2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete.
the resolution was also missing.
you could add to the resolution by creating one .
we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen.
we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions.
on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7.
NO MUSIC.
we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds.
NO CREDITS.
we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel.
overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Cristabel-jessica
ReplyDeletethe conflict was between the man and the woman.the value is unclear at this moment because the video is not complete.
here are the shots, dialog and actions that contribute to the rising action. 1. the opening scene we think the sqweeky door helped establish the mood which gave off a scary vibe.
2.when he raises his voice
3.the scene where he pulls out the gun.4. when she gets up out of her seat.
here some suggestions about adding to the rising action,
1. you could add suspensful music/sounds.
2. you could also shoot a close up on the mans expressions to show hes afraid of what hes gonna do. the climax was unclear because the video is incomplete.
the resolution was also missing.
you could add to the resolution by creating one .
we especialy like the shot of the door from the top because it helped enphasize that somthing fishy was about to happen.
we think that you might add a shot right after he pulls out the gun to maybe a close up to show the womans expressions.
on a scale of 1-10 we rate the editing a 7.
NO MUSIC.
we think you could try using suspensful music or sounds.
NO CREDITS.
we think that if the title had a certain different text it would hace reflected better on the content. we liked the silence during the title it gave off a dead sort of feel.
overall we thought your film was ok. what we liked was the opening shot but adding the missing clips and adding music would help.
Feedback given by Cesar Torres, Cristian Murillo, Juanmanuel Abonce
ReplyDeleteStory: The conflict between him and himself
Here are the shots, dialog, and actions that contributed to the rising action:
1. High shot of the man coming in
2. Close up shot of the guy
3. Medium shot of him pulling out the gun
4. Over the shoulder looking at the woman
Here are some suggestions about adding to the rising action:
1. You could complete the video
2. You could also make the message clearer
The climax occurred when he pulled out the gun
Describe what happens during the resolution: He shoots the woman
You could add to the resolution by making it clearer. This would help give us the idea that there is a message in the video.
We especially like the over the shoulder shot of the man and the woman because it helps emphasize the idea that something suspenseful was going to happen.
We think you replace the shot where there’s a close up of the woman’s name on the desk, the new shot would be switching that shot to the beginning when the man first walks in. This would help create the feeling of suspense.
On a scale of one to ten we rate the editing a 4.5 mainly because the video is not finished. One edit we would change was after he says “I need help”. We thought the clip of him standing there and not saying anything was useless.
There wasn’t any music.
The title didn’t reflect the content of the video, and it didn’t grab our attention. Add an effect to the title like a type writer title.
The title was plain and did not catch the audience’s attention.
Add effects to the titles.
There were no credits.
Overall we thought your film was ok. What we liked best was the guy taking out the gun. Our strongest suggestion is that you finish the whole thing.
RYAN AND JULISSA
ReplyDeleteThe conflict was between a desperate man trying to get his wife on a transplant list and a woman at the desk.
Shots that contributed to the rising action are when he points a gun and when the woman is scared asking him to not shoot.
there was no music but we would add a symphony of strings to emphasize that the situation is life or death.
Because the video was not finished, there was no resolution so we are curious to how you will end it.
Our suggestions are to go back to the story board and remind yourselves of what your value is, because we have no idea what it is.
You guys really need to complete the editing and fill in all of the blank shots because the video makes no sense without them. Also, add in music, titles and credits.
The conflict to the storyline was actuually hard to indentify but it was between the techer and a student
ReplyDelete1. The door making a squeaky noise was good.
2. The scence where it shows somewhats of a zoom in on the teacher was awesome.
3. A dialog would be "I don't want to this"
4. Action student pulls out the gun.
A suggestion would be to of course as you guys know just add in the other clips.
climax would be when students shots the gun.
The resolution I am not to sure would it could possible know but of course due to no adding of clips.
the opening I really loved is when the p
walks in just the whole feel from it is great!
outta of a one through ten I would rate the editing a 7 because editing is good you guys just need to add the rest of the clips.
You guys used a straight cut when the student walked to the teachers desk.
No music which I don't think you guys need to but if want it wouldn't kill you guys haha
I don't think the title is rather appealing .
No credits added.
overall good job just add in the rest of the clips and credit!
The conflict was between the desperate man and the secretary.
ReplyDeleteShots, dialogue, actions:
1 The squeaky door--added to the realness of it all.
2 The deperate man pleading--again added to the realness, also good acting.
To add to the resolution and the limax would be to add the other clips and fine tune everything. the story was there but it was hard to understand a 100% what was really going on.
There wasn't any music.
6 There wasn't a bunch edited and even what was seemed choppy...I'm unsure if that was suppose to be or what.
AS of right now all the editing seems to be straight cuts from the desperate man to the woman.
The title wasn't appealing to me. it didn't add anything for me.
There wre no credtis.
Overall a decent job for what you have, I was able to tell the conflict even with pieces missing.